He would expect me to be completely smooth. Being in that state also ensured I was as sensitive as possible, but that was a purely selfish thought and one I would be foolish to reveal.Bathing always gives me time to contemplate what is to come. I rarely know how He judged my behavior for the week. I do know — whether He chooses the pleasure of my toys or the discipline of the crop or strap — it will be... intense.It shames me — well, almost — to admit my secret hope for the latter. I have a longing for pain and I clenched my thighs at the thought He might judge me deserving of punishment. Memories of the sting keep me wet and I sometimes disobey so He might make my ass red and angry. In those times, a good portion of my back and thighs often share the same rosy hue before He is done with my torment. Only then does He use me to sate His masculine needs. Sucking in a breath, I sponged my legs, thinking how it all feels.It is going to hurt: I have no delusions. Pain is pain, and whether. Hubbard had used when describing the condition to James."Huh? Does that mean he's going to turn into a girl?" Elaine's questionwas delivered with a slightly confused tone that was unusual from thefourteen year old. With her dark hair and short height, she was almostJames' opposite in every conceivable way.In response, Randall snickered before standing and heading into thekitchen. "Hey Anne? You want one?" He asked, most likely pouringhimself a drink"Sure." Anne replied, before addressing Elaine's question. "Yes, honey.That's exactly what it means." Gross!" Elaine's response was quick and pointed. "He's not, like,going to be going out on dates and stuff with boys?" The look ofdisgust on the girl's face was impossible to miss, but James tried toignore it."Better lock up your boyfriend!" Randall commented, returning to theroom with two small glasses filled with a clear liquid and lemonslices. He handed one to Anne, before returning to his seat.James reflected that he had always loathed.
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